Do You Really Want to Save Your Marriage?

Posted on August 22nd, 2008 by olga

It’s a widespread question with difficult answers – How can I save my marriage? This is chiefly for the reason that every marriage is different. The answer that can save one marriage may not be what could help another. And then there are the type of marriages where the immediate answer to the ‘Can I save my marriage’ question is no, not considering of the solutions that are used. You will need to ask yourself the following questions to decide what side of the fence your marriage is on:

1) What is the foundation of my matrimonial difficulties?
2) Do I still love my other half?
3) What is my motivation in saving my marriage?What is the Foundation of Your Marital Difficulties?

You will need to decide what is causing your marriage difficulties in the first place with the intention of fully ponder the question “Can I save my marriage”. For most pairs these problems are clearly defined. This is for the reason that the majority of marriages break up over: financial issues, marital infidelity and lack of intimacy. Moreover, once you know what is causing your marital difficulties, you can decide whether or not they can be resolved. Many can be with the help of a professional. Others may have separated the love and/or trust so much that the marriage may not be restorable.

Do You Still Love My Partner?

The next step in answering the “Can I save my marriage” question involves determining if you love your partner. Numerous pairs grow apart from one another as they get older. And in the process the love wanes, regardless of having strong romantic bonds when they first got together. This is not to say that ‘falling out of love’ conditions can’t be renewed. There could still be a spark of platonic love that could be switched to intimate love with the right types of marital therapy, even if there’s not romantic love. But if even that spark isn’t there, you may not be able to save your marriage.

What are Your Motivations in Saving My Marriage?

In conclusion, with the intention of answer the “Can I save my marriage” question, you will need to recognize your motivations for saving your marriage. Do you want to stay together as a result of the kids? Or is it an issue of financial stability? Possibly you are scared to get out on your own, particularly if your other half has been responsible for paying the bills. Either way, these are not good reasons for keeping a marriage together. In no doubt, they can be motivators however the ultimate goal should be maintaining the love that you originally had with your significant other. You and your other half will be very miserable if love is not a motivator. And this unhappiness will reach to your kids too. Granted, most kids want mom and dad to be together, however if everyone is miserable it is better that they go their separate ways. It will be hard at first on the children, but they will get used to it at last.