Do You Want to Be a Happily Married Couple?

Posted on June 24th, 2008 by olga

Do You Want to Be More Contented in Your Marriage?
Married people with lots of altruistic love for their other half had happier marriages. Altruism is typically described as helping others without getting anything back. Married people get a “significant increase” in marital happiness if they have “this kind of self-sacrificing, put the interest of the other earlier than my own interest perspective on their romantic and close relationships.

Altruistic love can create a positive cycle in relationships
Married or not, altruistic love for an important other was tied to higher levels of general happiness.

Rate Your Own Altruistic Love

Try to rate how strongly you agree or disagree with these statements:
-I would rather suffer myself than let the one I love suffer.
-I cannot be happy if I place the one I love’s happiness earlier than my own.
-I am typically willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let the one I love achieve his/hers.
-I would endure all things for the sake of the one I love.

Easily, the most part of survey participants agreed or strongly agreed with those statements. Almost nine in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the first statement. About seven in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the second statement. About eight in 10 agreed or strongly agreed with the last two statements.

Doctor Smith explains “I’ll say I put my wife’s interests ahead of mine, she appreciates that and she does the same back to me, and it strengthens the relationship and it leads to a happier marriage. So, I think that’s the mechanism.”

Not Just for Married People

Married people were more probable to rank high in altruistic love than the unmarried. Nevertheless altruistic love was an advantage for everyone - no wedding band required.

Smith says “Having feelings of altruistic love to the significant other - a spouse, co-habitating partner, a simple romantic interest, which hasn’t gone as far as either of those relationships - not only leads to greater marital happiness however general increase in general happiness in one’s life”. He notes that human beings are “both self-interested and self-sacrificing,” and he thinks that sometimes we think of us as only in competition and material benefit and whatnot, and there’s clearly more to human psychology than that.”